Martinez Family Journal

Firsts, firsts, firsts....(Mary)

Hi everybody. It has been forty eight hours of firsts! Boy, and I thought most of the firsts were behind us. Yesterday, I went to Confession at our church, on the very last day to get your sins absolved before Lent ends. I have not been feeling very well, nauseous and passing out from exhaustion practically, so I waited til ot only the last day for this, but the last time slot! it was six in the evening and Drew went with me. I knew it would be brief, not like a whole hour in church, and he usually behaves well if he kows what to expect in advance. So he went to the confessional for the first time. A friend of mine earlier warned me that he might later repeat to someone what I had confessed! Oh no!!! Oh well, a chance I would take. So when itwas our turn we walked in and this was a confessional where the priest is not separated by a wall from you. He walks in the very door you do and sits back further in the confessional than the parishioner. Anyway, Drew walked right to the back and waved at him! I was grabbinghid hand and guiding him over to where we were to kneel. Drew was fine with the whole thing. Earlier he told me, 'all right Mommy I won't talk in there. If I have to say something I will whisper.' WE talked and he understood that there was to be no whispering either! So we celebrated with a stop at Wendy's on the way home to get his all time favorite, chicken nuggets.

This am I was again tired in mid am, but I could not stand looking at Drew's hair much longer. It was getting a bit raggedy. I had received a hair cutting kit from jeanne for Chirstmas and have really been getting a kickout of using it. I use it on myself and Drew; John won't let me near him! So he was quite itchy by the end, and he insists just like John to shower afterward. Since I was about to get into the shower, I had him join me. He has always showered with John just out of habit or convenience, thoughh he usually bathes. So that was a new experience - showering and toweling off at the same time.

Another first and this was probably the best. A dear friend of mine just called and Drew is playing at her home with her 5 year old daughter now, Bethany. The four of us walk to school togetherm or should I say the six of us (our dogs go too) and will be in the same K class in the fall together. I am often a bit nervous when I pick up the phone and he is playing there, to find out if something happened or if he had a bad accident. But she asked if he could stay longer, as they were having such a bang up time.

Happy Easter everyone if we do not talk to you, or see you, sooner.

(Mary) A few days ago, we happened to get what will probably be the last snowstorm of the year, and what a storm it was. Beautiful as all get out. It continued all day, just like a good snowstorm will, even into the evening hours. This is my favorite type, the slow and steady kind that lasts. By evening the snowflakes had all joined up with others in the air floating down, and the sky was filled with HUGE CLUMPS of snow filling the air in all directions. I gazed out at the grandeur of it all, and how it was transforming ourneighborhood into the place of magic, and noting how fortunate I was to be here at this moment with Drew and Rory to enjoy it. (In past years, I may have been at work barely able to enjoy it.) I said to Drew, 'is there anything more gorgeous than a fresh snowfall like this?' Well, he thought a moment and decided that yes, there certainly was. 'Yes, it is colored candy'. That is my son, snips, snails, puppy dog tails and a HUGE SWEET TOOTH!

Last night around 2 John was still downstairs doing something on the keyboard (very unlike him to be up at that hour). I would not have known, except that I heard Drew scream, so I got up and heardhim getting out of bed quickly. I didn't want to frighten him so I hadn't said anything. When he saw me approaching in the shadows of the hallway, he screamed again. Later when he was calm he told us he was frightened when he heard the computer b/c he thought it was a ghost on the computer since it was the middle of the night. John felt JUST TERRIBLY about it. Drew came to sleep on our floor in his sleeping bag, beside, Rory for the rest of the night.

A few mornings ago, Drew and I were sitting down to breakfast; or rather he was while I remained at the counter with my back to him putting together my own breakfast. I heard all of a sudden lots of loud noise, noises of the chairs and/or table moving around. I was about to scold him about this breing a time to eat, not play when I heard his voice calmly say, 'Mommy, I pushed out your chair for you.' (He was stuck in his booster seat and had fenagled a way to push out my chair with his legs.) What a proud moment.

Trying out a new look for the journal page. Feedback is always appreciated.

I had a horrid experience with my new, and soon to be former, psychiatrist. I will post more details another time, but the bottom line was that he is so impressed with himself and his abilities and so biased against opioids that he won't listen to me and doesn't care much about seeking to "First do no harm..."

-John

We are about to put Drew to bed, when he picked up his pretend phone and he "received" a phone call. A moment ago, he took his neat pen he got from a friend (it lights up when you write with it!) and pretended to be fixing the phone with the pen 'screwdriver'. So he now is pretending to be talking on the phone and soon tells us he got a call. 'From who?' we asked and he replied 'from a ghost' in a scared voice. He stated however, that the ghost was being nice and called to say he would be friendly when he came to our home.

We had a gloriously beautiful snowfall, all day. Even though it was all day, all we got was about 1-2" It coated everything beautifully white, each and every little twig and branch. Even I who was getting quite a degree of spring fever, was happy about it! Heck, I had even begun gardening.

John is upstairs calling to Drew pretending to be me, and trying to imitate things I would say to Drew, trying to have my voice. Drew thinks it is pretty funny.

I was just now putting Drew to bed. (Mary) He asked this time to sit under me, and was quite adamant, so I gave up arguing. He wanted to see what it would be like, being on the bottom. So I sat in his lap and started reading and when he realized he couldn't see the pictures of the book, so I got up and we sat normally in the rocker. He asked if I was comfortable sitting on his lap and I said yes. He said that was good, for if I had said no, I would have broken his heart!

I was staring up at his border in his room, of African animals on the desert plain and noticed the zebras. I asked him if he thought God took a paintbrush and painted horses black and white to make zebras and he said no. He thought God used other ingredients. I asked which ones, and asked if those ingredients were snips, snails and puppy dog tails, and he remembered that those were human boy ingredients. So he said maybe the correct ingredients were snips, snails and buttons.

I was beside myself with fatigue (that wonderful all encompassing fatigue of early pregnancy) today. Practically all day I was overcome with exhaustion. But I did not want to let him down so we attended a concert with some close friends, that we were planning on. It was great. I am glad we did; it was Gary Rosen, a children's musician and singer.

After nearly fifteen years of marriage, we have at last installed a wedding gift we received from John's sister, Vicki. It was a can opener. We just never got around to purchasing the correct hardware pieces for installation. We have been using it, just not installed onto a cabinet, as it is now. He was busyin the kitchen, and also put lights under some of the cabinets. WOW. Drew was busy watching the Emeril Lagasse show ('kick it up a notch') as he has been doing lately. We normally slip through some channels when looking for something age appropriate and often come across Emeril, especially around suppertime when we are looking for some TV for him. As soon as he sees the food network, he says 'stop'.

(Mary) This weekend Drew was cuddling up to me as he does when he wakes up and comes in. He said 'open your mouth' and I asked why. He replied that he wanted to give the baby some air!

He often says something we think is poignant or cute and we often laugh, though I never felt we were laughing AT him. He has become sensitive to it and has asked us not to laugh anymore (after he says something).

John and Drew made me a belated birthday cake tonight and it was beautiful - spice cake, vanilla frositng and as they say around here, jimmies on top. Drew asked if he could help me blow out the candles and we did it together. He helped John make it while I rested my poor abdomen, weary from the miserable first trimester blues.

You know all those Valentine's Day decorations illustrated with hearts all around someone who loves another? Apparently they have made quite a clear impression on our five year old. He noted to me Friday,(we were taking care of a friend's dog for the weekend), 'Mommy, when I see Nellie (the dog), hearts come out of my body.'

(Mary) I had given Drew his goodnight hugs and kisses, and tucked him in while Johhn stayed to go through prayers with him. I left to curl up with a good book and it was not five minutes til I heard little footsteps at my bed and there he was again. 'Mommy will you rock me in the chair?' So I said yes, and we went, after I asked him to be silent since this was 'quiet time' and to remain still and not wiggle. He agreed and we sat down. He got comfortable and I thought this was heaven. These days it is like pulling teeth to get my boy to kiss me or hug me and now we get to cuddle. I started to say 'This reminds me of when you were little' but got cut off by his little voice tell ing me 'No talking now. This is quiet time' :-)

We were out today shopping for a changing table and leaving the store Drew asked if we could go to McDonald's for dinner. He had been quite whiny and was asking in a very tired tone. Sure enough he fell apart as soon as I told him no, so I knew I had made the right decision. (I would much rather take him there when he has been behaving well.) When he asked why I told him because he was being quite whiny and threw a fit when I said no. Well, he changed his tune immediately and calmed down amazingly fast. He choked back tears and said in a quivering voice, 'I am no longer throwing a fit. Can we go now?'

We arrived home minutes later to find out that my neighbor across the st is not only pregnant also, but due at the same time as us. WOW. She is a super person to go through a pregnancy with. It happens that the former owner of our home went through pregnancy with my neighbor just last year. (Hear the music from the Twilight Zone :-)

(Mary) Last week was my birthday, not the whole week, mind you(!), but Feb 26 to be exact. I kept asking Drew how old I was going to be, to see what he would say. He invariably said 'Seven'. I chuckled, and informed I was actually about to be THIRTY seven.

On the subject of numbers, Drew told me yesterday he wanted to get into the cookie box to count the cookies. I said that was fine, and watched him count them. There were five. He further said that if he hadn't eaten any, "...there would be six and seven and if Mommy hadn't eaten any there would be eight." He was right. I told him he just added! He didn't seem to pay me much attention or even care about what I had told him, but later when John came home, John told me that Drew had told him that he knew how to add. Apparently he was proud of that.

A Taiwanese classmate of his came back from a month in Taiwan today. She shared Taiwanese candy with the kids. I explained to him that Taiwan is on the other side of the world near Singapore where John and I had visited. I told him she probably went there to visit relatives. He replied that "No, she went to get Taiwan food!"

That is all for tonight.

Drew and I just got in from the Y where I exercise, and we were looking over my calendar I got from John for Christmas, one in which there is a different pup picture for each day. I asked Drew to tell me what kind of pup we could get someday when Rory is no longer with us. (Perish the thought.) He kicked out a rather strange looking pup, a pug dog with a big black band of fur around one eye, looking him look sort of like a bandit. I was surprised he chose this one, and I laughed saying I thought it was ugly. he laughed and said he thought it was cute. So he kept it up, REALLY ENJOYING getting a rise out of me. I told him it was time to go get pajamas on upstairs, so we would have to take a break from arguing. "Mommy, can we argue some more? You promised we could!" was what I heard in a slightly whiny voice. So we turned the page to another month of 30 more pups and he again chose the pug on that page, too! By now he was just looking for one to get a reaction from me :-)

A quick note to make it offical:

We are having a baby! For a number of years, we were quite unsure about being able to handle a second child, given my disabilities and other health issues. Things are better controlled now, and this feels like a real victory for us to proceed down this exciting path. We must have really learned from the last time, since we were successful on the first possible time to conceive, whereas it took several months last time. ;-)

Our best guess for delivery is late October, and we are taking guesses on the baby's sex. My own guess is a girl, but I was wrong last time. We may decide to find out in advance this time.

Drew is concerned about the loss of interactive time he will have from us when the baby is born, but he is also excited about the novelty of it all. He is learning about fetal development from a CD-ROM ("Nine Month Miracle") that includes a simplified sectino for kids. He is fascinated by it all, and is learning a great deal about (mostly female) reproductive anatomy and physiology. He doesn't care much about how it gets started (i.e., sex), but I hope this knowledge will give hime some context for it when he does want to know about sex.